life of elouise

  • From isolation, with love
    “All my friends left me when I got sick.” These words have been echoing in my head recently. For privacy purposes, let us call this person T. T was a client who attended a mental health recovery camp where I was doing outdoor education. He is a tall greek guy with kind hazel eyes, a bulbous belly and lots of dark hair all over his body. His toenails were long and he promised me he … Continue reading From isolation, with love
  • Hey interesting person, what interesting thing did you learn today?
    This is what I have set my phone to ask me, every night at 8pm. Realistically, I’ve had a minimum of 12 hours to conjure up an answer to this question. My phone doesn’t care if I answer and obviously neither does anyone else. But I do. It’s a small way that I can keep accountable to myself in a way that is positive and constructive. I suppose now more than usual, this kind of … Continue reading Hey interesting person, what interesting thing did you learn today?
  • the saplings of forgiveness
    I restlessly throw my body around in bed while candles flicker and frogs croak. Camomile and honey trickle down my throat. Lavender floats around me in a cloud. It feels like even the frogs have more conviction than I do. I can barely muster a squeak.  There is an aching in my soul that I’m unsure of how to soothe. A hurt that this time, I do not know how to mend. I’m good at … Continue reading the saplings of forgiveness
  • Dear soul
    Dear soul, I hear you in there whispering gentle truths. Directing my eyes on an upward trajectory. Dear soul, my heart quakes with the vibrations of your deafening bellows; demanding to stay aligned with my journey. Yet sometimes, I do not listen. I avert my gaze. I wander. I get lost. I betray myself. Sometimes it’s a conscious choice, sometimes it’s not. Then I find my way back. Do you ever blink with wonder at … Continue reading Dear soul